Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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