We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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