ugly people sure do ruin things
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
