last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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