doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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