cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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