If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
