I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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