so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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