Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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