Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
