are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
