Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
