Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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