i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
