There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
