dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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