So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
