listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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