Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
