nut hugger
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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