just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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