I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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