I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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