apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
