home. puking in laundry basket.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
