ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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