It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
