you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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