If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
