Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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