ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
