Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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