i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
