You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
