john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
