Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
