make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
