Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
