I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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