11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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