Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
