I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
