dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My pussy is not your playground.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
