after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
