The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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