carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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