I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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