I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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