I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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