I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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