I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
