Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
