She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
