My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
